Full moon.  Which explains some things about my feelings and attitudes these days.
The ladies and gents at my chat game don't want me to go. I don't want to go, but i suspect that the philosophical divide between me and the ST's is too wide to be bridged.

In my last conversation with them, i suggested that rather than have people ask for things in ways that they do not like, why not post a guide to what your Vampire ST is looking for. 

They acted as if i was an asshole for even suggesting it. "NO! Why should we do that?  We want the players to figure it out for themselves."

Because trying to anticipate an ST's desires for experience requests is apparently "Fun" or something.  Instead of pointless and frustrating and liable to cause players to leave.  And they chided ME for expecting them to read my mind.

Further, i suspect that neither ST is capable of admitting that they might be wrong about...Well...Anything.  I look forward to reports of how they've driven their game into the ground.

Which is a weird precognition i have. When i determine that I can't or won't continue with a game, especially because of that sort of assholery. It usually closes very soon thereafter, or is irretrievably damaged.

Nothing is written in stone quite yet. I may yet change my mind, i don't think i will though. I think I sort of burned my bridge while i was standing on it.   Besides I am not keen to play anyplace where the head ST of my venue and the Site Admin/Co-owner are looking for an opportunity to shank me.  Hopefully in a way that enables them to look blameless.

In any case. it's time to head home.
I leave you with a classic that has been much on my mind:

So. After a talk with the ST and the Site admin, i've determined there is no future for me at Dark Providence. After the last post here, i put another softer, more diplomatic post in my thread over there.

But apparently my opining about trust issues fell upon deaf ears, The response i received to my attempt at conciliation was essentially summed up thusly.

*We don't have a problem.
*We've never had a problem.
*You're a fucking asshole for even bringing it up.
*Sit down and shut up or we'll jerk your icon.

Most of you know me, and while i am of a mind to be forgiving, and of a tendency to be diplomatic as i can be, I am not a "Sit down and shut up" kind of guy.   Shit like that rouses my inner Spartacus

At least i haven't been blocked and I can say proper goodbyes to the friends i've made there.

I've already been asked to go to another venue, but since the site admin fucking hates me, and is willing to tell all sorts of lies apparently,  I suspect i'll have to find some other spot to hang out.  A friend was telling me that someone is building a vampire victorian chat with the new WOD system.  I could see me STing there.   Maybe....Once i've gotten the bad taste out of my mouth.

After a talk with some friends and hearing some things going on, i finally lost my patience with the ST staff of the venue i'm in and uncorked on them.  Both barrels.

The sad and unfortunate thing about this is, I don't want to hound the ST from office, or even fight with him at all. My problems with the game are simply a symptom of a much larger problem.

Most regular readers of this LJ, already know that i am big on Trust as being necessary to good gaming.  Players NEED to trust their GM. The GM needs to trust the players.  Sometimes, along the way you might have trust issues, but as long the trust isn't broken completely, you can still get good games.   I've often likened good gaming to BDSM.  I make you acutely miserable in creative ways, and you in turn love/hate me for it, and we both have a good time, as long as we trust one another.  The only thing keeping BDSM from being torture is trust.

Now, I am finding that our vampire ST's would be completely happy if nobody in their game had any discipline power or money or status to speak of. I also find a tendency for the NPC to be overbearing jerks, and i can only assume those overbearing jerks are well stocked with more than enough power to take any six players apart.  Maybe it's not so, but i'll be damned if I find out the hard way.

In addition, A player of my acquaintance, had a merit, that had been approved by the previous ST's removed from her sheet.  And the merit in question wasn't even all that odd, or exotic, or powerful at all.   A lot of people are having trouble making experience buys for things straight out of core book.  The ST staff has also stated categorically that they don't want to deal with any bloodline stuff for a whole year.

It's also crossed my desk that at least one of the ST's seems to have an axe to grind against all the players who've elected to create elders that have awakened from torpor in the new age.  In other words, the players least likely to shake in their shoes when the NPC's turn up.

So, I let them have it in private. I fully expect to be ignored. I would really like it if maybe this was the wake-up call they needed, and perhaps they could amend their attitude, but you will note the lack of me holding my breath.

The next step is to take it to the site Admin. Who doesn't know me from Adam. Odds are good he'll ignore it too, or they'll try to paint me as some kind of nutjob.

The next step is to start nailing  up theses to the forum door. I'm not scared to do that, if that's what it will take.
If the ST doesn't trust me, and the rest of the players.  Then i don't trust him.
As a result, i'll have to be allergic to Plot or interaction with any of the NPC's.  And i refuse to be in a combat without a neutral ST present.

Good luck hitting the target on MY back.

Most of you are probably wondering why i'm even bothering. The tragic fact is, there are a number of really decent players on this board for a nice change of pace.  and i would really like to keep playing with them.  Otherwise i would have pulled the ripcord weeks ago.

So things are going well in my chat game. I found out that the ST who refuses to even talk to me now, is having computer problems and the other two are scrambling to fill the gap. What this means is that while i'm still fairly aggro about not getting anything on my EXP request, I am fairly sure that nobody else is either.

This also means that i don't have to avoid anything like combat, because there's no one to run it anyway and i don't have to be allergic to plot, especially plot that looks like an attractive form of suicide.

As a result, i've been getting a lot done.  When you can improve anything on your sheet, you get really good at making sure you can maximize that stuff that is there.  Slowly but surely, i am building a coalition and a web of alliances. If i do it right, i can do damn nearly anything i desire and the prince and elders can't touch me without tearing the city apart.  My eventual goal is to have Praxis handed to me like a ripe fruit falling from a low hanging branch.   MWAHAHAHAH!

Ah well. back to the salt mines.

"Noblesse OhPlease"

The tendency of people with aristocratic bearing or pretensions, to stop you in the middle of a conversation about life or death matters in order to huffily correct you on their proper title.  Typically committed by people with deep and pervasive concerns about penis size.

So, I may have realized that i've got another book in me.  And it's possible that it will get rolling very soon now. I don't know whether i'll put it together piece by piece, in blog form, or whether i will attempt to write it straight through.

The working title is Performance, Oratory and Rhetoric for the Live Action Role Player.
Hows that for bullshit artistry?

Plans are proceeding apace for a Ebon Shelf book which i intend to offer very cheaply, because i know my tribe, and i know that they, and I, are cheap, skin-flinty bastards.  At present, i am mentally concocting the introduction and the "How to Use this Book" section, which might include a treatise of the creation of text based props that regular readers of the World Famous Crank Report might find familiar.

gregordyne has suggested that if i want to reach a larger audience that perhaps i ought to write a column for RPG.Net. and this idea is not without merit. Do i re-hash the old WFCR columns? or do i try to find something NEW to say?  I am not sure yet, but i like it when new paths open up to me.

Apparently my bitching about things has reached the ears of the Vampire ST staff and now they won't even talk to me. C'est la Guerre.

 I am out of my damn mind. I spent far too much money to go, but in truth, i think it would have been worse to miss it entirely.  I got my check early, which was good, because it enabled me to get out of town slightly early.  I shouldn't have worried about being late though. As per usual, thing started on gamer relative time.

It was good drive up though. I had Parliament on the CD player,and it made the time fly. I got crazy lucky with parking. I found a metered slot open up across the street from me and broke about 8 major laws to claim before someone else could.  Check in to the con was painless if expensive and I was on my way.

The Convention center food court has added a barbecue place.  And i can testify that the although pricey, the damn barbecue delivered and delivered big.

I found the game, got myself checked in and off we went.
I didn't get a lot accomplished for some reason. I did manage to spirit away someone who had been freed as a slave after the fact.  I did get to talk and gathered some vital intel from Jezebel Dragolescu. Also, got to watch a cool fight between some newbies and managed to get a ritual from Grandmaster Nomi.  So, maybe i'm over thinking it.  Some interesting performances from some folks i'd not met before.  Love that!

After the game, I sat with some cammies i marginally knew and chewed the fat,  But I didn't really get my drink on or anything. Just wasn't in the mood and knew i was driving back.

Sadly. The all-night shell with the Subway in it at exit 69 was closed.  It made me very sad.   But i did find a 24 hour mickey d's at the Kings Mill exit.  Managed to get home a little after 5.  Sleep, kitty pettins.

No matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex in the Champagne Room.

I should probably have this tattooed on my left wrist.
I should probably have tattooed on my right the legend "Odds are good she's full of shit."

Why is trust so fucking hard to come by?

The wind has been stolen from my sails, and at kind of a critical juncture.
Also: one of the Vampire ST's has decided to be an even bigger Asshat than usual by micromanaging shit best left alone.

I cannot deal with this shit right now.
Saturday cannot be here fast enough.

 I think i might be designing a shirt for a fictional festival for fictional bands.

I'm going to call it Fictapalooza

Headliners include:
Spinal Tap
Dingos Ate My Baby
Munchausens By Proxy
Creed
CB-4
Hey! That's MY Bicycle!

and as many others as you twisted bastards can help me remember. GO!

Things are uptight at work.  Because i am in the habit of being discursive about work here at the tape library, let me simply say that we've got people coming in from one of our accounts, and our bosses are all a-clench.   Woohoo.

Saw tracker7 and tegyrius  this Saturday when i went in early for my Vampire larp.  I was accused of promoting sparkly vampirism, which regular readers of this journal know, i do not support.  Still, good to see those dude, perhaps i can lure them and a few others over to Dark Providence.
I rather like the players at DP (Yes, i know, build your own joke here) Especially since most of them seem to be really interested in actual role play, and the jerks with cults of personality in other places can't seem to get as much traction here.   At the outset, there was an almost trigger happy willingness to jettison people for being asshats and twatwaffles.   But that seems to have chilled some. Darnit.

Douglas has finally managed to spend some EXP and purchase some influence in High Society, his most natural bailiwick. I got a few haters amoung the vampires on the board.  But i don't really have anyone who's really scared of me.  I may have to fix that.  I need a few players who flinch and shy away when i look them in the eyes.  So that i can turn around to other players, smile my toothy smile and say with a straight face, "I do declare...I wonder whatever that could be about."

Also: I am hoping to work in the following line at some point: "Son, Ah say Son, pay attention to me when ah'm speaking to you. I ain't jes talking to hear mah head roar!"

Additionally, I am working up a werewolf.  The concept: Cahalith Storm Lord, Shakespearean Actor.   Portrayed by none other than the incomparable Bernard Fox.   And if you don't know who that is, fuck you. Google him up.

Think I had a decent idea for a new thing for the Ebon Shelf, but it has yet to unspool completely. We'll see.

Went to see pop on father's day, Bill cooked out, while i handled the sides on the stove inside and between the two of us, we prepared near toxic levels of food.  It was good to see Pop and Bill and Linda.  And i went home as full as an alabama deer-tick.

It's starting to quiet down on the home front. I managed somehow to sleep all day.  I dislike doing that anymore. Not because i dislike sleep. (Heavens forefend!)  But because I dislike being out of the information loop for that long.   I fear i'll wake up to find out that the Middle East is burning or some other crazy shit has happened on that same scale.  Is that weird?

Two of my best friends had kids this weekend. Must be something in the water.  I am a little bummed that i don't have kids or any real opportunities (Read= interested women)  to have one right now.   But i comfort myself by reminding myself that being a man, i can make a baby up 30 minutes after i'm dead.   So, i got that going for me.

My pipes are a bit lest rusty now, now i need to get my breath control back in shape. I keep running out of air in the middle of phrases, happily. the Ipod shuffle is performing like a champ.

Origins closes in on me. The one thing i can absolutely count on is that i won't be overpacked for it, as i will only be there for one night of Cam Larp and possibly some drinking.  Shocked and amazed to realize that this is my fifth origins and Pinky's fifth as well.  Someday, I hope to be one of the old and crusty and impossibly powerful players that everyone seems to bitch about. Although post-reset, i am one of a small number of Daeva with Protean, I might just turn the corner in the very near future, from harmless nuissance to incredibly dangerous nuissance.  That would be.

Cam larp was a little sluggish. Or maybe that was just me. But it seemed that way a bit.  I suspect that Scott's Changeling larp is running them all ragged. Which is not necessarily a bad thing actually.   But it will require me to step up my game somewhat and build more volunteer plot.  The bulk of the player base seems more than capable of driving the plotbus themselves now. All i really have to do is throw them a thing or two to keep them moving.  It's new folks that may require a bit more crowbarring in. Happily, we seem to get a few every so often.  Some of them are even good!  I can only hope that they'll stick.

I suspect that once again, i shall have to tear down and rebuild my character generator mill. mainly because i became stalled on it and never really got back to it, so it's incomplete and i rarely feel like using it.  I NEED to stop procrastinating.  

I am about at the point of tearing down the Ebon Shelf and formulating it into some kind of book.  If i can do so and sell PDF's for 5 bucks would anybody buy it? i wonder.  I do know I want a hard copy for my shelf. 

Jah love to all of you.
:D

It looks like i will indeed have an actual plan for what to do this evening for my vampire larp after all.
might have to crunch some numbers for a particular NPC. But might just wing it.

I have a sneaking suspicion Janosh might make an appearance.

Dark Providence continues to be fun, but i've hit a kind of doldrum with my character.  For some reason, i know not what, the Head Vampire ST seems to have it in for me, and refuses to put through most of my Experience requests.  I'm not even asking for weird or freakish shit either. Most of it is stuff that i recieve Invcitus cost break for, which kind of makes me think that this stuff comes real easy... But the ST doesn't put any of it on my sheet.   And for some reason makes me wait for a week to 10 days before telling me no.

And i've got a nice chunk of EXP. About 25 points. Which is nice if you HAVE invictus cost break...and your ST lets you spend your points.

If that weren't bad enough, my IC romance is stuck for some reason and my relations with some of my allies have suffered some damage, that i was hoping to avoid.  And i developed at least one serious enemy. 

And for some reason, in the last 2 days, i can't seem to get anything started.  Bah!

Had our first formal court and oddly, it seemed to take a sledgehammer to any concept of Invictus loyalty. 
Lots has been going on this weekend.  I may also have to revise my opinion of the head vampire ST, I may no longer desire to punch him in the throat.  And damned if he wasn't all over it this weekend.   So yeah. I can admit when i'm wrong. personally. I think that makes me smart.

Finally figured out that Norton Autoprotect was causing problems for the Ipod shuffle i now have and it is now filled with hundreds of lovely singable tunes.  Practical upshot, my pipes are rusty as fuck right now, but i'll be getting them back in shape.

Both cats are in heat, so sleep is a bit problematical.  Little miss stephanie found some neighbor cat lurking around on the porch out back and threw what i can only term a "FULL-ON HISSY FIT"

And speaking of admitting when i was wrong: I watched Twilight after some palaver with a friend who's aesthetic i tend to trust.  And he liked it.  And I?  Well i didn't hate it.   It actually made sense. Granted, i've not the read the books, and clearly it's for a young adult audience. But i didn't hate it at all.  It was very much what he said it was.  It wasn't a vampire movie. It was a romance that involved a human and a vampire.  Very different animal.   I even understand the why of the sparkling.  Dracula could move about in the daylight though...and he never sparkled.   So it's mainly a stylistic choice, that i didn't agree with, but it worked within the logic of the context of the story.  I think i would have gone with sunlight just making the vampire weaker or maybe bringing their bestial side to the fore.

Still the movie had some amusing stuff in it.  The vampires trying to cook. The graduation caps.  And if Twilight turns on a whole generation to Debussy.  Then i'm all for it. 

So in short:  I was wrong. I'm not a hater no more.  But vampires STILL don't sparkle.  I stand by that.

Lately, i have been having weird hankerings for cherry Icee...

Cam game coming this weekend, Then Origins next weekend.  If only for saturday night.

You know. Sometimes, the things i like best about the chat game is the opportunity to walk into a place and sit down with other characters and just talk about things. Maybe i have a sneaky-pants agenda and maybe i don't, But sometimes the best times i'm having just involve a couple of characters.  Maybe because I remember what a hairball combat was, so i'm not in a hurry to get into one.  But crowd scenes tend to test my patience.   Still, our first formal court for the vampires is supposed to be this saturday and i'd be remiss not to turn up.

Apparently, Douglas Boggs is becoming a popular fellow.

My stupid check came early, and i slept all day and didn't know it. POINTLESS!

Have a stack of cam things to do this weekend. Next week is our game, and the weekend after is Origins. Which I'll only be able to attend one night of.

Also: Sacremento State university Singers covering Ben Folds Five.

Tonight i had some fun. One of the ST's came on and suggested a carthian debate, using the Requiem for Rome social combat rules. Which seemed a little counter-intuitive at first, but after a bit. I got into them.  I only had a problem insofar as i had to leave for work in the middle and then was only able to jump back in after an interval.  However, i did have an opportunity to mop the floor with the Santified representative who had seen fit to simply attack the OD representative outright.  The OD rep, being a friend of mine.   So i tore him a new one.  

Not many know this, but my command of invective and debate related attack is somewhat substansive.  And personally, i cannot resist an opportunity to whip out a "How DARE you sir!"

Funny thing, the guy playing the sanctified had actually put some thought into his characterization as a sanctified hardliner.  Which is not all that common.   Most of the time, i find that people who default to the hardliner stance, are simply the ones who haven't read much of the Sanctified material.  Not this one.  Had to give him kudos.

So, for a bit there. Douglas and I got to feel like a white knight.

Also, i spent many fruitless minutes trying to convince our vampire ST, that it is pointless to refer to rules in the Forum.  Because the forum is a growing morass and the WIKI has a much cleaner interface.  But no one wants to listen to me.   Especially when i am demonstrably right.  Think i'll go back to hammering nails into boards with my head.  That's about all the utility i seem to get out of the thing.

I like the other players on Dark Providence. but the ST's are making it hard for me. I'm about ready to strangle two of them.   I'm having a hard time trusting them. And most of you know me to be big on trust between players and ST's. Also, i need my EXP requests done or i'm going on strike!   NO JUSTICE! NO PEACE!
Still. I like my character and I like the other players.  I've even made a "Special Friend" of one of the Gangrel. Poor bastard is about to have the weight of Douglas Aaron Boggs fall on him...

in addition, things are weird.  My only real triumph of late was fixing the AC after it crapped out on us on Sunday.  The stupid door on the HVAC unit had come undone, so i made another expedition under the house and fixed the loose door for good!  I finally figured out why it wouldn't seat itself properly and got it back on proper and solidly in place.  When the door comes loose, the cut-off switch kills both heat, cold and fan into the house. Sunday night was all kinds of not fun.

The yard needs serious work. Especially in back.  I need to unlimber the chainsaw and my safety goggles and get chopping.

Took care of untangling some of the cam stuff on my plate.  Need desperately to clean out my mailbox. For some reason, i have not one scrap of enthusiasm for this work right now.  I expect it will blow over.  Pinky hasn't talked to me in a while and that bothers me more.

By the way, if you're not playing in our Camarilla mage game, you are flatly missing out.  Brandon is a talented GM and Scott works pretty well as his AVST.   The last game session was pretty damn awesome.  Hey, if you don't dig mage, this won't fix that, but if you do dig mage and you can't get off your ass to come play, I have no sympathy for you.

Not much else to report.

Went for my audition. Don't feel as if I knocked it out of the park. But, usually it's the one where i DON'T feel like i've done my best where they call me back.  Still, i feel that if i book the gig. it'll be because I personally know one of the producers.  In any event, i fully expect to never hear another word about it.

In other news: Werewolf is continuing to not suck.

I owe Rachel an Apology. Still can't really talk about why though. 

I am now at the point where i need to start breaking out my weights again and doing a bit of lifting.

Going on an audition for a feature film on friday afternoon.

Increasingly, i am seized by the urge to scare the shit out of people while I am shopping.  I want to just walk up to someone in the wal-mart with a glazed look in my eyes and say something like; "Are you receiving sound from this body?  We must speak quickly!  There is little time.  It is apparent that the 4th recti-linear progressions are upon you and yet you, as a race, are doing nothing. The Psycho-pomp is coming to destroy you and yet you sit idle! You must flee, you cannot hope to stand against his armada.   Your world is lost!  You must escape if you wish to preserve your genome!    Hang on...I'm losing signal."
It's at this point i would have to find a way to distract the mark long enough to pop an alka-seltzer into my mouth and fake an epileptic seizure.  You know, the kind of cruel prank that could concievably scar someone for life, if done exactly right.

Yeah, there's a reason people keep an eye on me at familiy reunions.

It appears that short of some financial miracle, i will only be able to attend one single evening of Origins this year. The way it will fall out is that payday falls on saturday, and i can really only afford a one day trip anyway.  The trick is whether i will be able to get my check, get it cashed and then drive to columbus and check in before the game gets rolling on saturday night.  Good news: Origins will be completely unable to suck my wallet dry in the space of one night.   Bad News. I'll get to play exactly one game, and maybe drink some afterwards. Sad clown!

Douglas is still fun to play. but I am begining to suspect that I'm going to need someone fairly soon to sharpen my claws on. Certainly, he's a likeable guy, but i suspect i need a "Special Friend".  In any case, our EXP finally came down the pipe and now i'm waiting on approval on all his stuff. I've divined that Douglas is very much a builder and that's a little hard to do when there is no exp.

Mom's old ipod has fallen into my clutches and it works admirably well.  But for some odd reason it drives Norton Antivirus crazy with multiple scans and it also doesn't want to accept more than 26 files, even though there is nearly a gig of space left.   WTF?

 "Jeff Simmons tries to corrupt Napoleon Murphy Brock, by showing him a lewd dance and suggesting he smoke a high school diploma.*

Kind of a bizarre day.  Still got chunky bits in my lungs working their way out.
Got a nice chunk of EXP from Dark Providence today, so i'm pretty happy about that.
elmerg has stepped down as our DST and i think i have a bent idea on what to do about that.
Today and tonight i need to post my monthly report for the cam and untangle all the stuff that people have sent me that they were doing.

I'm interested in how the Pro-life movement is reacting to the fact that murdering doctors makes them look bad. Funny how that is.

Bought a case of coke. Drank 2 today already.  I was doing so well...


Today's song is once again from Blue Man Group featuring the extremely cute Tracy Bonham. It is a song about following your bliss.

 Still sick but payday brought wonderful medicines, and foods, and juices and that prompted a lovely 14 hour nap.
So today, i am feeling better. My throat no longer feels like a scarred ruin and my nose is actually functional as an airway and everything.  The only lingering problems are chunky deposits in my poor lungs, that make me feel like i've got emphysema.

I know. Overshare.  Sorry about that.

Still. Good things make up for the bad, a slight bump of additional pay from an extra worked day, A torrent of some batman comics to peek through.  A loving kitty. Soup. OJ.  A warm set of covers.

Illness tends to get me more depressed these days.  It's one of those things that is undeniably sucky about being alone.  No one is going to take care of me nor prop me up and I worry if this is what my dottage is going to be like.

But then again, I tend to bounce back fast.  70's radio on sky fm helps.  Hard to feel bad when you've got that.

And speaking of music, More Venus Hum:

Sick as a dog tonight and still feeling pretty well munged.  Have a backlog of mail i owe various cammies.


Thought i'd just share this because there's about as much energy here as your average rocket launch.

BMG With Venus Hum: